Grilling and BBQ’s – Not as easy as it looks

by

Laura Bramble

Grilling is one of those things that looks much easier than it is. Though women may reign supreme in the kitchen, men are the masters of the grill. Why is the grill so intimidating, but can be mastered by a man who cannot boil a pot of noodles? I have thought about this while avoiding the grill like the plague, leaving it for the token male in the house to use.

I have concluded that the thing that makes the grill such a challenge for women is the very thing that makes it ideally suited for a man. You have to ignore whatever is on it. I have decided that women cannot do this without a great deal of effort and several abortive breakdowns. Women, myself included, want everything to be perfect, so we check and double check everything in the kitchen. We are the reason that oven manufacturers put windows and lights in ovens, so that we could check to see if whatever is in there is done without having to open the door and drop the temperature. Grills have no windows, so we would constantly be checking on whatever was in there by opening the lid and flipping the contents repeatedly, allowing the heat and the moisture to drift away. This behavior would ensure that whatever we are trying to cook becomes something akin to a hockey puck by the time we are finished.

Men, on the other hand, are very seldom just cooking on the grill. They are usually doing something else at the same time, like talking, watching TV or laughing–sometimes at the women of the house running around in the kitchen I suspect. Eventually they open the lid, check it maybe once, and then flip it. After flipping, they proceed to ignore it some more while going back to whatever it is they were doing. After some indeterminate period of time, for which they have not consulted a clock or watch, they open the grill again. Sometimes they look at it and poke, then close the lid and say it will be done in a minute. Most of the time they poke and flip maybe one last time before picking the meat up and putting it on the plate. They have not used a thermometer. They have not cut it open to see if it is done. They just plate it and serve it, and somehow, magically, it is absolutely perfect.

Unless there is an undiscovered gene that gives men a built in timer for grilling, I really dont know how they do it. I have asked men I know, and they cant tell me either. I have also asked how they know the meat is done, only to be told that they know by feel. Supposedly their fathers taught them, yet I have yet to witness one of these father/son grill teaching sessions take place. I think they see my befuddlement and like it.

One day, I too may master the grill, when I am too old to get a man to do it. In the meantime, I can find friends and family to do it for me while I turn my hand to other culinary specialties. No one is the wiser and everyone ends up happy. Now heres hoping men dont manage to figure out how easy chocolate mousse is…

Laura Bramble is a freelance writer living in Atlanta. You may view more of her work at

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Grilling and BBQ’s – Not as easy as it looks}